Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
