I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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