It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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