The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
