where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
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