Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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