put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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