mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
my being single is dangerous.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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