I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
