I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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