just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
