I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize