so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
