I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize