you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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