I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
