You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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