i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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