I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
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