I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
