I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Randomize
