my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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