I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
