you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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