she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
