Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
