i permit you to call me
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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