That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
His nipple licking is glorious
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