i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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