TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
