The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
