well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
