I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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