what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Randomize
