its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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