After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
