I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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