matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
