so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
So vagazzling was a success
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
