we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I want a musical about memes.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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