I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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