I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
