You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
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