How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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