I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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