No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
