I like to think it a success when the cops are called
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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