I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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