i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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