Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
