He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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