Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
