hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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