I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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