She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
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we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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