Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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