pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize