he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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