Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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