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• (714): View more from California

  OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.

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• (716): View more from New York

  He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (585): View more from New York

  In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.

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• (716): View more from New York

  I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.

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• (239): View more from Florida

  Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.

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