everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going