It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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