I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?