He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
only if we run a train.
done.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
