I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
