Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
