It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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