Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
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we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
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I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.