I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf