Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole