i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I AM VODKA MAN
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.