So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
