Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
