I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I can't trust your balls anymore.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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