sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
