the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
This toilet bowl is my home.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
