I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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