his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
