Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
