So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
